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You don’t need to explain or justify it; trying to find reasons why it’s less “shameful” than others’ just reinforces the idea that there’s something shameful about it in the first place.You don’t need to explain or excuse your lack of dating experience; “I had other priorities” or “Just hadn’t met the right person” are all you need to say if pressed.The difference is deceptively simple, but it makes a world of difference.

They become intimidated by women whom they fear have more experience than they do.

They become too afraid to approach , never mind people they’re attracted to.

But here’s the fun thing about numbers: they don’t tell you as much as we think.

Someone who’s had many sex partners may be the last of the red hot lovers… Someone who’s had very few may well be shy and awkward…

If you venture into any Forever Alone or incel community like /r9k/, you’ll see hundreds of people lamenting how much sex they’ve never had and how the world is conspiring against them.

That’s not taking ownership of being socially inexperienced; that’s making it the core of your identity and letting it overtake your life.

This is just as true with a lack of dating experience as it is with other areas in life. Many people who have no dating or sexual experience worry about being a bad kisser or a bad lay or not knowing how affectionate to be in public or any of a myriad insecurities and anxieties.

Having little (or no) experience has nothing to do with who you are as a person; it’s a contextless data point in your life. But No matter how many partners we’ve had or haven’t had, we all come to a new relationship not knowing the other person’s likes and dislikes.

When you write a dating advice column, one of the inevitable questions that comes up is the idea of inexperience.

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